Archive for the ‘Signs of the times’ Category
The Cream Of The Crop Has Gone Off
At work I often receive CVs, and the quality of the candidates veers wildly between excellent and McJob.
More ofen than not, the written English is pour (sic), and makes me wonder what we are teaching people these days, if this is the best that they can come up with.
As an example, this one winged its digital way into my colleague Graham’s inbox the other day:
“Hello! I’m A.Docio and I have just completed my final year on the BA(Hons) Graphic Design degree at the University of Wolverhampton.I would like to start my working life as a designer in a company and further develop my skills and knowledge there. I’m writing to ask whether you might consider either offering me a job. Please find attached my current CV and in addition you could ask me for a few sample pieces of my design work for your consideration. My aim is print and digital design.
I would be most grateful if you could consider my request. I was enjoying your web because you have very fresh and good works. I’m willing to learn there. My aims could be innovate, because I was travelling to many places and I have curiosity to look advertising and logos everywhere and I think I’m open minded. I love the detail and I’m able to work in my own.
Thank you for your consideration.
Yours sincerely
XXXXXXX”
Incidentally, those aren’t kisses at the end: I’ve blocked out the name, to give them some chance of retaining their dignity.
Needless to say, we didn’t rush to get back in touch.
Performance Enhancing Phelps?
Today it has emerged that Michael Phelps was snapped by a “friend” indulging in a little extra-curricular substance abuse.
Given the recent fuss over the likes of Marion Jones and Dwain Chambers using performance-enhancing drugs, I thought it was a bit odd that they considered the use of cannabis in the same way as EPO, or steroids, given that on the occasions I’ve indulged I would have struggled to get changed into my trunks, let alone swim a length or two.
Maybe being an uber-athlete it affected him differently, but I would have paid good money to see him in action.
With all the solutions, you’d think everything was a problem
I’m sat here reading a magazine from Sage, the accounting software bods, and its title is “Solutions”. Fair enough, I suppose, given that presumably it deigns to solve problems that crop up with running your business.
When I saw it, however, I was reminded how many things seem to be a problem – given the amount of times you see the word “solutions” thrown about these days.
There’s Shanks Waste Solutions – waste is a problem when it hangs about, so that’s fair enough. There’s a “washroom solutions” van that I see around from time to time, and I guess soap and water solve the problem of germs, so that’s ok too.
But there’s a hair salon on my route to work – with “Hair Solutions” plastered in the window. Now I have a problem with my hair in that I don’t have much of it, and the only “solution” is probably a wig, although that will of course create its own problems. But if you are saying that everyone who goes in there has a problem with their hair, it sounds to me like they might be put off a bit.
Just a thought.
The lights are on, but is it home?
The ridiculous EU has decided, in all their ill-conceived wisdom, that tungsten filament bulbs are to be phased out. The 100W one was killed off last week, and by 2012 even the lowly 40W will be consigned to the dustbin.
Their replacements are those ghastly, expensive, “eco” bulbs, which apparently last for years and use a quarter of the power of Edison’s equivalent. This is all very well and good, but what they don’t tell you on the box is that when you turn them on, you feel like you are in an operating theatre.
Gone will be the cosy nights by the fire, reading by the horrendously inefficient light of the bulb that has served us perfectly well for the past 100-odd years.
Ok, they may give off only 5% of the energy they use as light, and the rest as heat – but is that so bad? Surely that means you can turn the boiler down a bit.
Stockpiling has already started, apparently, and thinking about it I will probably be joining them as the date draws nearer; particularly as my missus has previously not allowed the eco bulbs in the house.
As Edison spins in his grave, start your hoarding now – and show the EU that when it comes to how we light our homes, they really should keep their well-fed snouts out.